Does not listen to what you say, ignores you, or talks over you
Invades your personal space boundaries
Does what they want regardless of what you want
Makes you feel guilty if you are not comfortable having sex
Is excessively jealous or possessive
Drinks heavily
Deals with stress by raising his/her voice or uses physical force
Reduce the Risk:
Set sexual limits.
It is your body, and no one has the right to force you to do anything you do not want to do. The sooner you communicate firmly and clearly your sexual intentions the easier it will be for your partner to hear and accept your decision.
Be assertive on your dates.
Do not do anything you do not want to just to avoid disagreement or unpleasant interaction.
Maintain control of your comfort level.
If you feel things are getting out of your control, be loud in protesting, leave, or go for help.
Use a confident voice and body posture.
If you want the person to stop, look directly at him or her and say "NO" in a firm, serious voice.
Trust your intuition.
If you feel uncomfortable, scared, or pressured, voice your discomfort or leave the situation.
Avoid secluded places.
Being intoxicated is NOT a legal defense for rape.On dates or in social situations
Don't leave your drink unattended
Get your own drink and open it yourself
Have your own ride home
Avoided secluded places
Avoid people who ignore your feelings or try to make decisions for you
Always let somebody know where you are going to be
Set limits for yourself
Be assertive and say what you want
At home
Leave some lights on when you're not at home
Use the "peepholes" when someone is at the door
Never allow a stranger to enter when you are alone
Use deadbolt locks when home alone
Walking
Plan your route and walk confidently
Avoid alleys and other isolated spots
Be aware of who is around you
If you are being followed, go into a store or knock on a door for help
In your car
Have your keys out and ready when walking to your car, especially at night
Check the back seat and underneath your car before getting in it
Keep your car doors locked, even when you are in it
If possible, carry a cell phone
On the phone
If you receive an obscene phone call, just hang up
Don't let anyone know that you are home by yourself
No one asks to be raped, even if:
You feel she/he is teasing you
She/he dresses provocatively and leads you on
You think "no" means "yes"
You have had sex with her/him before
You have paid for dinner and/or given her/him expensive gifts
You think she/he enjoys being forced or persuaded to have sex
She/he is under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Guidelines for prevention
Be clear about how your partner feels. If you are confused about the messages you are getting, ask for clarification.
Do not assume you know your partner's comfort level in intimate situations. You and your partner may not want the same degree of intimacy. Do not pressure your partner into any sexual activity.
If your partner is not comfortable with having sex, do not feel rejected as a person. Your partner is expressing a decision about participating in a single act at that time.
Be clear that sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
Realize that desire for affection is not the same as desire for sex.
Credits:
Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault and the U.S. Department of Justice, 1996
